Spending Time Alone

What I am about to suggest to you is revolutionary! Something I thought I could never do, but have come to truly enjoy! Are you ready for it? 

GO OUT BY YOURSELF!

I know... I know... You don't want to look like a weirdo all by yourself. You don't want to be that single girl sitting at a table for one. And you definitely don't want to go shopping by yourself! So you call your girlfriends and if they are all busy you stay home sad and depressed!

BE LIBERATED! You do not need to stay home when all of your friends have something to do! You can go out on your own! 

A very wise woman has told me for many years that she wanted me to live alone before I got married. I thought that would never be possible. I thought that I would be to scared or that I wouldn't be able to sleep. She kept telling me that I needed to get my own walk with God, to learn that I could be alone, and to be okay with it. She said that for my whole life I relied on my family and friends, I had to learn to rely on God. I knew she was right, but I didn't like it. If I learned to be alone, would that mean I would be alone forever? I know it sounds silly, but I didn't want God to know that I was capable of living for Him as a single for the rest of my life. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was! If I did I thought it meant I would never get married. I knew this was something I had to conquer.

 Since last October, I have been living in my one bedroom condo...ALONE. Living alone has forced me to spend time alone. 

I have gotten to know myself too. Does that sound weird to you? It sounded weird to me. But it is so true. I had to face some things in my personality that I didn't like. For one thing, I am extremely organized, and I do not like when things interrupt my plans. I got so organized, that when my plans changed, I got upset! I had to work on that. How did I do that? I purposely made plans and changed them. Sounds insane, but it helped me! I am also an extrovert. I didn't like sitting in silence, so I would call people all the time or I would have an audiobook playing. Now I shut off everything and sit and read or pray. When I am feeling really brave, I'll clean with no noise. If I would have never moved out on my own, I wouldn't have learned about myself like I have. I wouldn't have learned to lean on the Lord, instead of my brothers and sister in laws for every one of my needs.  The Lord has shown me how much I need Him.

The picture above is me hiking...ALONE. That morning I could have called either one of my sisters, but I didn't want to. I wanted to try it alone. It felt so amazing. During that time I got alone with God. I sat by the waterfall, and I just thanked God for where He had brought me from. As I hiked down the mountain, I smiled at people. In a non-creepy way of course, but in way that I was okay that they saw me alone. 

In our society, women are pressured to be independent, to be liberated from traditional roles. They want women to stay single, to sleep around, and to live a life doing what they please. I know some of you are thinking that this is what I am suggesting. Actually, I am suggesting the opposite. I am suggesting that you find your role in the Kingdom of God. Single women aren't bound to their homes, relying on friends and family to break them out. They are to live for the Lord and to be available for Him to use. Though we may be alone in the physical, in the spiritual we are never alone.  You don't have to live your single years feeling alone. We are in a time in our lives that we can make ourselves available to Him.

I am currently sitting at the library, at a table by myself. I know people are watching me, wondering what I am doing. Once I close my computer, I am going to open myself up to be used. Who knows the lady sitting in the chair near me, may need me to pray for her. If I was here with my friends, I would be consumed with what we were talking about. Right now, I available and ALONE to be used by the Lord. 

You should try it! Go have coffee, go to dinner, or go for a walk. Get out ALONE, and see how God will use you. Let me know how it feels!

I am still single with your friend! We got this!

With Love,

Court

Breaking Your Alabaster Box

This post is something that God has dealt with me about for many years in fact. Maybe not the exact wording but something that took time for me to truly understand. Let me explain...

I have a confession, I have had my wedding planned since I was a little girl. I mean what little girl hasn't? As I got older, I found something that made planning my wedding so real.... What you may ask, PINTEREST. Girls, I had a board organized and ready for my wedding. There were thousands of pins on there. I knew my colors, bridesmaids, decor, and food. I even had my cake ready to go. What more did I need? My husband. I just needed to insert my man and BAM, I'd be ready. During relationships I would add things that meant something to our relationship. I would read post about engagement stories, and imagine mine. Then after the break-up, I would regroup and reorganize. My Pinterest feed was filled with wedding bliss. But my heart was filled with disappointment. Late at night, I would find myself crying because all that I had planned hadn't come to pass. What was wrong with me? I was on the road of bitterness yearning for something that hadn't happened. 

One day, after I had ended a relationship with a great guy, I called my sister. I told her that I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't talk about it, think about it, and live like this. I was killing myself. I wasn't myself. I was becoming depressed and bitter. I am so embarrassed to say this, but I feel like have to admit this. I loved God and trusted Him, but a part of my heart was angry. Why wasn't I living my happily ever after. So during this conversation, I told my sister that she was allowed to have silent faith. No more planning! I deleted my Pinterest board, started cleaning up my feed from all of the wedding stuff, and gave my heart to the Lord fully. This is so hard to put into words, but I had to get to the place that I would live my life even if that day didn't come. Not only would I live, but I would enjoy it. I finally shut out the voices that were telling me to buy a suit in faith or to clean-out half my closet for my future husband (THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN), and I just listened to what the Lord was leading me to do. I have faith that one day I will be married, but until then I am all God's. 

My best friend got married two years ago, she is 6 months older than me. She had been telling me for so long to let go and let God essentially. I would bristle and tell her that I was. Can I be honest? I was mad at her for saying that. Who was she to tell me that? She was married to an amazing guy, had a home, was living the dream. And here I was decorating my chick pad. She said when I got to this place I would understand. Now I do! I recently stumbled upon a blog post a 30 year old single woman wrote. She said that she refused to live in tomorrow but wanted to embrace today. To take the time God had given her as a single woman and live it serving him to the best of her ability. 

So, I know your wondering what this has to do with my spiffy title. Oh my friend, this is revolutionary. God truly ministered to my heart! My good friend Mary Ginty let me borrow a book that I saw on her bookshelf on a recent visit.I opened up this book and read the first chapter and  then text my sisters and said, "I am crying, God just gave me a blogpost." The book is called Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right. The author explained that in "Bible days" that when young women reached the age of marriage, that their families would purchase an alabaster box. They would fill it with precious oils. Now the more wealthy the family was, the  bigger the box, and the better the oil. When the young man would come to ask for her hand she would take this part of her dowry and break it at his feet. This symbolized showing him honor through anointing his feet. Part of me wanted to call my big brother when I read this and ask him on his next trip to Israel to buy my an alabaster box. I was ready to break it at my man's feet. (I didn't say it was easy to stay in peace about this, I still revert at times). The  book went on to talk about how the woman anointed Jesus with her alabaster box. 

Mark 14:3-9

And being in Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head. An there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, Why was this waste of ointment made? For it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor. And they murmured against her. And Jesus said, Let her alone; why trouble ye her? She hath wrought a good work on me. For ye have the poor with you always and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always. She had done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying. Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial for her.

I know we have all heard this preached before, but as I read it came to life for me. This woman, came with her dowry for her future husband and broke it, and then poured it on the Lord. In this act she was anointing her heavenly Bridegroom. She was giving all of herself to the Lord. Girls, we can do this today, break open our box and anoint the Lord to be our heavenly Bridegroom. That is in this season, we can allow the Lord to be our husband. To love Him with our whole heart and not hold our canceled wedding plans against Him.What precious oil do you have for the Lord? I have given Him my time, my words, and my heart. 

When I read how others were alarmed and angered by her doing this, I thought of the people who have treated me differently. That looked at my new joy with disdain or made me feel as if I was crazy. The times when I felt like people devalued me. I am doing a good work for my Lord. I am reaching children through bus ministry. Starting to teach English to families we have reached on outreach. I am being the best T to my boys. Investing in relationships with my friends and family. I am writing for the Lord, and my words bring glory to His name. These people did not recognize that she was investing in the Kingdom of God. They didn't realize that the return on the far exceeds anything you can find in a bank. She was preparing Him to be the greatest sacrifice this world had and has ever seen. The time we spend in prayer and investing in His kingdom, is the greatest thing we can ever do. 

And finally, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial for her. Before I had ever gotten this from the Lord, I had heard her story. I knew that she broke that box at His feet and anointed Him. I knew her story just as I knew the death, burial, and resurrection. I think so many times as single women we feel our ministry does not matter until we are married. But just like this woman, we can break our alabaster box for the Lord. We can lay aside our plans, and allow the Lord to be first. We can take our precious gifts and use them to bring Him glory. 

I pray that this ministers to you as it did me. I'd love to hear from you! 

I am in this season with you! Learning and loving along your side!

XOXO

Court