Devotion

There is a new buzz word going around main stream Christianity. This word is thrown around in a way, that I feel that people don't really understand the full meaning of this word. It has taken on so many new forms, that I feel that the power of it is draining out. You know those words that people use so much that they no longer have the same meaning? Like Love. It is thrown around so much that it has lost the true depth of what it means. I always think of the scripture, John 3:16, For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Now do you love that bowl of ice cream enough to give your only begotten son? 

Devotion 

Being a teacher, you know I have to give you the definition. 

Devotion: love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause. A religious worship or observance. The plural of it would be devotions: prayers or religious observances.

When we are speaking of devotion in the sense of being devoted to God, we are speaking of love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for the Creator of the universe. Someone just spending some time in reading an online "Devo" isn't being devoted to God. When I think of devotion, of Mary washing the feet of Jesus with her hair. It didn't matter all that was going on around her, what matter was serving her master in an intimate way. I think of Cornelius, who prayed daily, gave alms, all without the Holy Ghost. He desired to serve the Lord to the best of his ability, this level of devotion, prompted the Lord to send someone his way to bring him truth. I think of Hannah, who prayed in the temple for a child. She was so deeply moved by this need that Eli thought she was drunk. She then promised that her son would be a Nazarite all the days of his live. There are so many more biblical examples. So many so you may be thinking how could she not bring up... and why not... 

Devotion is serving God to the best of your ability all the days of your life. It means to put God first in your life. It means laying aside worldly pleasures to serve Him. 

I don't think I really understood this in the past. I thought that soul-winning, living for God, and church participation was enough. Is that a level of devotion? Yes, most definitely that is! But God desires a deeper level of devotion. He desires to have all of our hearts, not just what is left over after work. Here it comes girls, you knew it was coming, single ladies, this means us. 

I know, I know, I know, we are busy too! I work full time as a teacher, run a bus route, and help with youth. We are busy. But isn't our main purpose to utter devotion to Him? How can we be devoted to someone we don't know? Someone we don't spend time with? I am not getting on to you, but I am just sharing questions that I have asked myself, and being transparent about excuses I have made. 

I met someone a few years ago, who was sharing with me how they read the bible all the was through 2 times a year. I was utterly ashamed, because I hadn't done it one time. They then shared that during lunch they got away and read their bible and prayed. I had to check myself... was I really devoted? 

Since then, I can say that my level of devotion has greatly increased. I spend time daily with the Lord. I have trained myself to get up earlier to ensure that I have time to read and pray. I have started an on campus prayer group, that meets Mondays at 7 am to pray for our school. I believe that God is going to open a door with these ladies!

 Recently, I was telling my pastor how sometimes I don't make it to the church to pray. I was really down on myself. I asked him if he could talk to the pastor of the church in the city where I work, and ask that on the days I can't make it to the church, if I could pray in their prayer room. Of course my pastor was supportive. This has helped me so much! I will slip over there on lunch, after work when I have meetings, and I get to touch God in a Holy Ghost filled environment. 

Becoming devoted has taught me so much. Honestly, it has changed my outlook on being single. It is such a blessing to be able to spend time with Him. In this time I get to be a handmaiden of the Lord. Ready to answer His call, like Samuel, at any time. But it is teaching me to be a good wife. If i have my devotion to the Lord in order, it won't be a struggle when I get married to spend time in prayer or bible reading. If you work on being devoted now, your walk with God will be that much stronger when you are married. Obviously, don't become devoted, in hopes He sends you husband. Do it out of your love, loyalty and enthusiasm to serve Him.

Spending Time Alone

What I am about to suggest to you is revolutionary! Something I thought I could never do, but have come to truly enjoy! Are you ready for it? 

GO OUT BY YOURSELF!

I know... I know... You don't want to look like a weirdo all by yourself. You don't want to be that single girl sitting at a table for one. And you definitely don't want to go shopping by yourself! So you call your girlfriends and if they are all busy you stay home sad and depressed!

BE LIBERATED! You do not need to stay home when all of your friends have something to do! You can go out on your own! 

A very wise woman has told me for many years that she wanted me to live alone before I got married. I thought that would never be possible. I thought that I would be to scared or that I wouldn't be able to sleep. She kept telling me that I needed to get my own walk with God, to learn that I could be alone, and to be okay with it. She said that for my whole life I relied on my family and friends, I had to learn to rely on God. I knew she was right, but I didn't like it. If I learned to be alone, would that mean I would be alone forever? I know it sounds silly, but I didn't want God to know that I was capable of living for Him as a single for the rest of my life. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was! If I did I thought it meant I would never get married. I knew this was something I had to conquer.

 Since last October, I have been living in my one bedroom condo...ALONE. Living alone has forced me to spend time alone. 

I have gotten to know myself too. Does that sound weird to you? It sounded weird to me. But it is so true. I had to face some things in my personality that I didn't like. For one thing, I am extremely organized, and I do not like when things interrupt my plans. I got so organized, that when my plans changed, I got upset! I had to work on that. How did I do that? I purposely made plans and changed them. Sounds insane, but it helped me! I am also an extrovert. I didn't like sitting in silence, so I would call people all the time or I would have an audiobook playing. Now I shut off everything and sit and read or pray. When I am feeling really brave, I'll clean with no noise. If I would have never moved out on my own, I wouldn't have learned about myself like I have. I wouldn't have learned to lean on the Lord, instead of my brothers and sister in laws for every one of my needs.  The Lord has shown me how much I need Him.

The picture above is me hiking...ALONE. That morning I could have called either one of my sisters, but I didn't want to. I wanted to try it alone. It felt so amazing. During that time I got alone with God. I sat by the waterfall, and I just thanked God for where He had brought me from. As I hiked down the mountain, I smiled at people. In a non-creepy way of course, but in way that I was okay that they saw me alone. 

In our society, women are pressured to be independent, to be liberated from traditional roles. They want women to stay single, to sleep around, and to live a life doing what they please. I know some of you are thinking that this is what I am suggesting. Actually, I am suggesting the opposite. I am suggesting that you find your role in the Kingdom of God. Single women aren't bound to their homes, relying on friends and family to break them out. They are to live for the Lord and to be available for Him to use. Though we may be alone in the physical, in the spiritual we are never alone.  You don't have to live your single years feeling alone. We are in a time in our lives that we can make ourselves available to Him.

I am currently sitting at the library, at a table by myself. I know people are watching me, wondering what I am doing. Once I close my computer, I am going to open myself up to be used. Who knows the lady sitting in the chair near me, may need me to pray for her. If I was here with my friends, I would be consumed with what we were talking about. Right now, I available and ALONE to be used by the Lord. 

You should try it! Go have coffee, go to dinner, or go for a walk. Get out ALONE, and see how God will use you. Let me know how it feels!

I am still single with your friend! We got this!

With Love,

Court

Breaking Your Alabaster Box

This post is something that God has dealt with me about for many years in fact. Maybe not the exact wording but something that took time for me to truly understand. Let me explain...

I have a confession, I have had my wedding planned since I was a little girl. I mean what little girl hasn't? As I got older, I found something that made planning my wedding so real.... What you may ask, PINTEREST. Girls, I had a board organized and ready for my wedding. There were thousands of pins on there. I knew my colors, bridesmaids, decor, and food. I even had my cake ready to go. What more did I need? My husband. I just needed to insert my man and BAM, I'd be ready. During relationships I would add things that meant something to our relationship. I would read post about engagement stories, and imagine mine. Then after the break-up, I would regroup and reorganize. My Pinterest feed was filled with wedding bliss. But my heart was filled with disappointment. Late at night, I would find myself crying because all that I had planned hadn't come to pass. What was wrong with me? I was on the road of bitterness yearning for something that hadn't happened. 

One day, after I had ended a relationship with a great guy, I called my sister. I told her that I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't talk about it, think about it, and live like this. I was killing myself. I wasn't myself. I was becoming depressed and bitter. I am so embarrassed to say this, but I feel like have to admit this. I loved God and trusted Him, but a part of my heart was angry. Why wasn't I living my happily ever after. So during this conversation, I told my sister that she was allowed to have silent faith. No more planning! I deleted my Pinterest board, started cleaning up my feed from all of the wedding stuff, and gave my heart to the Lord fully. This is so hard to put into words, but I had to get to the place that I would live my life even if that day didn't come. Not only would I live, but I would enjoy it. I finally shut out the voices that were telling me to buy a suit in faith or to clean-out half my closet for my future husband (THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN), and I just listened to what the Lord was leading me to do. I have faith that one day I will be married, but until then I am all God's. 

My best friend got married two years ago, she is 6 months older than me. She had been telling me for so long to let go and let God essentially. I would bristle and tell her that I was. Can I be honest? I was mad at her for saying that. Who was she to tell me that? She was married to an amazing guy, had a home, was living the dream. And here I was decorating my chick pad. She said when I got to this place I would understand. Now I do! I recently stumbled upon a blog post a 30 year old single woman wrote. She said that she refused to live in tomorrow but wanted to embrace today. To take the time God had given her as a single woman and live it serving him to the best of her ability. 

So, I know your wondering what this has to do with my spiffy title. Oh my friend, this is revolutionary. God truly ministered to my heart! My good friend Mary Ginty let me borrow a book that I saw on her bookshelf on a recent visit.I opened up this book and read the first chapter and  then text my sisters and said, "I am crying, God just gave me a blogpost." The book is called Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right. The author explained that in "Bible days" that when young women reached the age of marriage, that their families would purchase an alabaster box. They would fill it with precious oils. Now the more wealthy the family was, the  bigger the box, and the better the oil. When the young man would come to ask for her hand she would take this part of her dowry and break it at his feet. This symbolized showing him honor through anointing his feet. Part of me wanted to call my big brother when I read this and ask him on his next trip to Israel to buy my an alabaster box. I was ready to break it at my man's feet. (I didn't say it was easy to stay in peace about this, I still revert at times). The  book went on to talk about how the woman anointed Jesus with her alabaster box. 

Mark 14:3-9

And being in Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head. An there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, Why was this waste of ointment made? For it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor. And they murmured against her. And Jesus said, Let her alone; why trouble ye her? She hath wrought a good work on me. For ye have the poor with you always and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always. She had done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying. Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial for her.

I know we have all heard this preached before, but as I read it came to life for me. This woman, came with her dowry for her future husband and broke it, and then poured it on the Lord. In this act she was anointing her heavenly Bridegroom. She was giving all of herself to the Lord. Girls, we can do this today, break open our box and anoint the Lord to be our heavenly Bridegroom. That is in this season, we can allow the Lord to be our husband. To love Him with our whole heart and not hold our canceled wedding plans against Him.What precious oil do you have for the Lord? I have given Him my time, my words, and my heart. 

When I read how others were alarmed and angered by her doing this, I thought of the people who have treated me differently. That looked at my new joy with disdain or made me feel as if I was crazy. The times when I felt like people devalued me. I am doing a good work for my Lord. I am reaching children through bus ministry. Starting to teach English to families we have reached on outreach. I am being the best T to my boys. Investing in relationships with my friends and family. I am writing for the Lord, and my words bring glory to His name. These people did not recognize that she was investing in the Kingdom of God. They didn't realize that the return on the far exceeds anything you can find in a bank. She was preparing Him to be the greatest sacrifice this world had and has ever seen. The time we spend in prayer and investing in His kingdom, is the greatest thing we can ever do. 

And finally, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial for her. Before I had ever gotten this from the Lord, I had heard her story. I knew that she broke that box at His feet and anointed Him. I knew her story just as I knew the death, burial, and resurrection. I think so many times as single women we feel our ministry does not matter until we are married. But just like this woman, we can break our alabaster box for the Lord. We can lay aside our plans, and allow the Lord to be first. We can take our precious gifts and use them to bring Him glory. 

I pray that this ministers to you as it did me. I'd love to hear from you! 

I am in this season with you! Learning and loving along your side!

XOXO

Court

50ish Things You SHOULD Say to a Single Girl

It is so important to have a support system! Some may call it a tribe, which is such a great word for what my family is to me. My sissy (don't we look alike) has been my biggest cheerleader! I am telling you girls, if you don't have a person, go get one! Please don't read this and think that you can call Kendra... She is mine! 

This is dedicated to all the married friends out there, that hold their single sister up! The ones that wipe our tears, scope out potentials, and rock the wing-man position! We need you to help us see clearly, hold our hands, and to pray with us! So thank you! Kendra, you are a gem, I am so thankful Brendan married you! 

Read all of the awesome things she tells me on the daily :)

1.  You can be used by God in any stage of life. Don’t wait!
2. I don’t know exactly how you feel, and I’ll never say that I do. But I will empathize with you! -This is my favorite! She was married at 20, but she has walked this road with me!!
3. It’s okay to cry! And when you’re done I’ll help you get up and keep moving!
4.  Silent faith is still faith. We don’t have to talk about it but know I still believe with you!
5.  Don’t be afraid to be specific with God 
6.  Self-care is self-love 
7.  Don’t look good to impress, look good because you love yourself
8.  Be you! 100% authentic you 
9.  Misery loves company. Don’t let anyone’s negativity bring you down 
10.  Waiting on the Lord isn’t always easy. And there’s no said time frame for anyone. But Gods timing is perfect 
11.  It’s not “if” you get married, it’s “when” 
12.  It’s okay to splurge sometimes girl! Say YES to the shoes :) -Actually this may be LOL!
13.   Don’t wait to do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do. Pursue your passions and dreams
14. There’s no “set age” for marriage. Gods timing is perfect. 
15. You aren’t less of a person or half of a person because you’re single. A husband compliments you, he doesn’t complete you. 
16.  Spoil yourself :) 
17.  It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry. But when you’re done, cling to someone who will help you believe again 
18.   Falling in love means you have to be vulnerable. No one wants to get hurt, but if you do, I will be here every step of the way 
19.  I’ve got your back 
20.  Special event? Send me pics of every planned outfit and hairstyle !! :) :) :) -This happens months before at times :)
21.  You have value and worth.
22.  It’s okay to feel ... find someone you trust who you can talk to without judgment. Someone who will just hold your hand and let you talk through your emotions 
23. Don’t walk the line of envy and comparing your life to the lives of others. It’s an impossible tightrope, and you won’t last long before you fall. One songwriter said, “It comes to steal and hide what is real, comparison kills”
24. Have fun, laugh, love, and live your life to the fullest! Find the beauty in every single day 
25. Make up your mind that whatever happens, you’re still going to live for God victoriously! Settle it in your heart with the Lord. 

I think sometimes we feel that when our friend gets married, we can no longer be friends. That is so not true! Kendra is my best friend. We go on adventures together, talk daily, and confide in one another. Just because we are in different stages, we can still be what the other needs. Find someone, find a tribe, and let them love you through the rough times and celebrate the good times.

XOXO,
Court

PS.. Yes, still single :)

11 Things You Shouldn't Say To A Single Girl... Over 25

I was recently talking to a friend about her upcoming birthday... she’s about 5 years old than me and single. She was expressing some frustrations she had about things people had been saying to her about her singleness. Now, this friend is as sweet as pie. She wouldn’t say anything negative about anyone, but I could tell her feelings were really hurt.

Her: I know they were trying to encourage me, but...

Me: They didn’t because they weren’t thinking.

Her: Well yea, but I don’t think they meant to hurt me.

Me: Right, we know that, but it hurts!

Her: They told me that I need to stop expecting it... then God will send him.

Me: Do you expect it now?

Her: No...

Me: Is he there yet?

Her: Court!

Giggling then began!

This is something that I have dealt with over the past few years. But it seemed to get worst last year, my last year in my 20’s. My sister in laws were both blessed with many phone calls of me sobbing, “why would someone say something so cruel.” That may sound dramatic to you, but I was deeply hurt by their words. I mean I want to be married, but I love God and refuse to settle. Did I think people meant to hurt me? ... no, well I hope not. Whoever wrote sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me, is a complete dumby. As an elementary school teacher, I can say words are more damaging than sticks and stones. Words hurt!

In one of my annoyed by what people say moments, I told my sister in law I could write a book entitled, “A Million and One Things You Shouldn't To Say to a Single Girl Over 25.” But I don’t have time to write them all down, so here is “11 Things You Shouldn't Say to a Single Girl Over 25.” (In no order, just as they come to me).

1. It will be an absolute miracle if you ever get married. (Really?!? Did you have to throw the ever in? It’s an absolute miracle that I’m saved, but I could go so many directions with this one I’m going to leave it there).
2. Do you still want to get married? (I’m working on my sarcasm. No comment).
3. He will come when you least expect it. (How about now).
4. You need to get out there more, show them that you are available. (Should I get a sign? That was sarcastic sorry!)
5. Maybe the Lord has called you to be single. (I feel like I would know IF He had)
6. When I was single I had so much time, you are so lucky to be alone. (This one just annoys me because I’m actually very busy. I know when you get married and have kids things change, but if you are involved in church you are busy)
7. I hate eating alone, but Courtney over here does it every night. (#Mean)
8. Why haven't you gotten married yet? (Great question!)
9. I don't see why you haven't gotten married yet. (I have never gotten this one, but it was sent in by a friend. This one made my jaw drop because it implies there is something wrong with people who aren't married... maybe God's timing isn't yet...)
10. You should flirt to convert. (This one is frustrating. I don't think should even be suggested. We want our young ladies to stay in church. If someone is feeling weak, this could cause them to make a bad decision. I promise this is never a good idea).
11. Have you thought about *insert name*. (Okay, so set-ups do work at times, but please don't just suggest every single man who is breathing. Also, don't say I am not married because I won't go for so and so).

I hope this didn't sound snarky or mean. I know some people mean well, but words can really hurt. Honestly, I have gotten to the point that when people say things to me I can laugh, but it hurts me when I hear them said to others. If you want to add to my list, please comment below!

I am in this season with you,

Courtney