11 Things You Shouldn't Say To A Single Girl... Over 25

I was recently talking to a friend about her upcoming birthday... she’s about 5 years old than me and single. She was expressing some frustrations she had about things people had been saying to her about her singleness. Now, this friend is as sweet as pie. She wouldn’t say anything negative about anyone, but I could tell her feelings were really hurt.

Her: I know they were trying to encourage me, but...

Me: They didn’t because they weren’t thinking.

Her: Well yea, but I don’t think they meant to hurt me.

Me: Right, we know that, but it hurts!

Her: They told me that I need to stop expecting it... then God will send him.

Me: Do you expect it now?

Her: No...

Me: Is he there yet?

Her: Court!

Giggling then began!

This is something that I have dealt with over the past few years. But it seemed to get worst last year, my last year in my 20’s. My sister in laws were both blessed with many phone calls of me sobbing, “why would someone say something so cruel.” That may sound dramatic to you, but I was deeply hurt by their words. I mean I want to be married, but I love God and refuse to settle. Did I think people meant to hurt me? ... no, well I hope not. Whoever wrote sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me, is a complete dumby. As an elementary school teacher, I can say words are more damaging than sticks and stones. Words hurt!

In one of my annoyed by what people say moments, I told my sister in law I could write a book entitled, “A Million and One Things You Shouldn't To Say to a Single Girl Over 25.” But I don’t have time to write them all down, so here is “11 Things You Shouldn't Say to a Single Girl Over 25.” (In no order, just as they come to me).

1. It will be an absolute miracle if you ever get married. (Really?!? Did you have to throw the ever in? It’s an absolute miracle that I’m saved, but I could go so many directions with this one I’m going to leave it there).
2. Do you still want to get married? (I’m working on my sarcasm. No comment).
3. He will come when you least expect it. (How about now).
4. You need to get out there more, show them that you are available. (Should I get a sign? That was sarcastic sorry!)
5. Maybe the Lord has called you to be single. (I feel like I would know IF He had)
6. When I was single I had so much time, you are so lucky to be alone. (This one just annoys me because I’m actually very busy. I know when you get married and have kids things change, but if you are involved in church you are busy)
7. I hate eating alone, but Courtney over here does it every night. (#Mean)
8. Why haven't you gotten married yet? (Great question!)
9. I don't see why you haven't gotten married yet. (I have never gotten this one, but it was sent in by a friend. This one made my jaw drop because it implies there is something wrong with people who aren't married... maybe God's timing isn't yet...)
10. You should flirt to convert. (This one is frustrating. I don't think should even be suggested. We want our young ladies to stay in church. If someone is feeling weak, this could cause them to make a bad decision. I promise this is never a good idea).
11. Have you thought about *insert name*. (Okay, so set-ups do work at times, but please don't just suggest every single man who is breathing. Also, don't say I am not married because I won't go for so and so).

I hope this didn't sound snarky or mean. I know some people mean well, but words can really hurt. Honestly, I have gotten to the point that when people say things to me I can laugh, but it hurts me when I hear them said to others. If you want to add to my list, please comment below!

I am in this season with you,

Courtney