50ish Things You SHOULD Say to a Single Girl

It is so important to have a support system! Some may call it a tribe, which is such a great word for what my family is to me. My sissy (don't we look alike) has been my biggest cheerleader! I am telling you girls, if you don't have a person, go get one! Please don't read this and think that you can call Kendra... She is mine! 

This is dedicated to all the married friends out there, that hold their single sister up! The ones that wipe our tears, scope out potentials, and rock the wing-man position! We need you to help us see clearly, hold our hands, and to pray with us! So thank you! Kendra, you are a gem, I am so thankful Brendan married you! 

Read all of the awesome things she tells me on the daily :)

1.  You can be used by God in any stage of life. Don’t wait!
2. I don’t know exactly how you feel, and I’ll never say that I do. But I will empathize with you! -This is my favorite! She was married at 20, but she has walked this road with me!!
3. It’s okay to cry! And when you’re done I’ll help you get up and keep moving!
4.  Silent faith is still faith. We don’t have to talk about it but know I still believe with you!
5.  Don’t be afraid to be specific with God 
6.  Self-care is self-love 
7.  Don’t look good to impress, look good because you love yourself
8.  Be you! 100% authentic you 
9.  Misery loves company. Don’t let anyone’s negativity bring you down 
10.  Waiting on the Lord isn’t always easy. And there’s no said time frame for anyone. But Gods timing is perfect 
11.  It’s not “if” you get married, it’s “when” 
12.  It’s okay to splurge sometimes girl! Say YES to the shoes :) -Actually this may be LOL!
13.   Don’t wait to do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do. Pursue your passions and dreams
14. There’s no “set age” for marriage. Gods timing is perfect. 
15. You aren’t less of a person or half of a person because you’re single. A husband compliments you, he doesn’t complete you. 
16.  Spoil yourself :) 
17.  It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry. But when you’re done, cling to someone who will help you believe again 
18.   Falling in love means you have to be vulnerable. No one wants to get hurt, but if you do, I will be here every step of the way 
19.  I’ve got your back 
20.  Special event? Send me pics of every planned outfit and hairstyle !! :) :) :) -This happens months before at times :)
21.  You have value and worth.
22.  It’s okay to feel ... find someone you trust who you can talk to without judgment. Someone who will just hold your hand and let you talk through your emotions 
23. Don’t walk the line of envy and comparing your life to the lives of others. It’s an impossible tightrope, and you won’t last long before you fall. One songwriter said, “It comes to steal and hide what is real, comparison kills”
24. Have fun, laugh, love, and live your life to the fullest! Find the beauty in every single day 
25. Make up your mind that whatever happens, you’re still going to live for God victoriously! Settle it in your heart with the Lord. 

I think sometimes we feel that when our friend gets married, we can no longer be friends. That is so not true! Kendra is my best friend. We go on adventures together, talk daily, and confide in one another. Just because we are in different stages, we can still be what the other needs. Find someone, find a tribe, and let them love you through the rough times and celebrate the good times.

XOXO,
Court

PS.. Yes, still single :)

11 Things You Shouldn't Say To A Single Girl... Over 25

I was recently talking to a friend about her upcoming birthday... she’s about 5 years old than me and single. She was expressing some frustrations she had about things people had been saying to her about her singleness. Now, this friend is as sweet as pie. She wouldn’t say anything negative about anyone, but I could tell her feelings were really hurt.

Her: I know they were trying to encourage me, but...

Me: They didn’t because they weren’t thinking.

Her: Well yea, but I don’t think they meant to hurt me.

Me: Right, we know that, but it hurts!

Her: They told me that I need to stop expecting it... then God will send him.

Me: Do you expect it now?

Her: No...

Me: Is he there yet?

Her: Court!

Giggling then began!

This is something that I have dealt with over the past few years. But it seemed to get worst last year, my last year in my 20’s. My sister in laws were both blessed with many phone calls of me sobbing, “why would someone say something so cruel.” That may sound dramatic to you, but I was deeply hurt by their words. I mean I want to be married, but I love God and refuse to settle. Did I think people meant to hurt me? ... no, well I hope not. Whoever wrote sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me, is a complete dumby. As an elementary school teacher, I can say words are more damaging than sticks and stones. Words hurt!

In one of my annoyed by what people say moments, I told my sister in law I could write a book entitled, “A Million and One Things You Shouldn't To Say to a Single Girl Over 25.” But I don’t have time to write them all down, so here is “11 Things You Shouldn't Say to a Single Girl Over 25.” (In no order, just as they come to me).

1. It will be an absolute miracle if you ever get married. (Really?!? Did you have to throw the ever in? It’s an absolute miracle that I’m saved, but I could go so many directions with this one I’m going to leave it there).
2. Do you still want to get married? (I’m working on my sarcasm. No comment).
3. He will come when you least expect it. (How about now).
4. You need to get out there more, show them that you are available. (Should I get a sign? That was sarcastic sorry!)
5. Maybe the Lord has called you to be single. (I feel like I would know IF He had)
6. When I was single I had so much time, you are so lucky to be alone. (This one just annoys me because I’m actually very busy. I know when you get married and have kids things change, but if you are involved in church you are busy)
7. I hate eating alone, but Courtney over here does it every night. (#Mean)
8. Why haven't you gotten married yet? (Great question!)
9. I don't see why you haven't gotten married yet. (I have never gotten this one, but it was sent in by a friend. This one made my jaw drop because it implies there is something wrong with people who aren't married... maybe God's timing isn't yet...)
10. You should flirt to convert. (This one is frustrating. I don't think should even be suggested. We want our young ladies to stay in church. If someone is feeling weak, this could cause them to make a bad decision. I promise this is never a good idea).
11. Have you thought about *insert name*. (Okay, so set-ups do work at times, but please don't just suggest every single man who is breathing. Also, don't say I am not married because I won't go for so and so).

I hope this didn't sound snarky or mean. I know some people mean well, but words can really hurt. Honestly, I have gotten to the point that when people say things to me I can laugh, but it hurts me when I hear them said to others. If you want to add to my list, please comment below!

I am in this season with you,

Courtney